for you

Quietness (rumi)

Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.

Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.

Escape.
Walk out like somebody suddenly born into color.

Do it now.
You're covered with thick cloud.
Slide out the side.

Die,
and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you've died.

Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.

The speechless full moon
comes out now.

heavy questions

it's in quiet moments of deliberation
that i feel the steady pressure
of love.
it is easier to fall than to stay.
passion is better left unkept,
unexamined,
unwilling to say hello in the morning.
and so i ask myself heavy questions
in heavy silence
feeling heavy pressure.

if i love you, do i even like you?

and what difference does it make
if i fell in love with you,
if i don't like you,
or can't converse with you.
do you make me laugh?

it's all more than i can take.

passion is all i've ever known.
i don't know if i can give anything
constant,
when i myself am made of inconsistent
colours and whims.

bedtime stories.

"Pan, who and what art thou?" he cried huskily.

"I'm youth, I'm joy," Peter answered at a venture, "I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg."

a thousand cattle

my father loves all his sons.
he owns a thousand cattle on a hill.
he leaves the ninety-nine to find the one.
my father loves all his sons.

echos

while
i concede
that our generation
will be remembered by our pictures.

i wish,
(even in my eyelashes)
to be remembered by
my eyes,
my touch,
my words.

the transcendentals

bless me with your kisses
and let differences
dissipate in a
simple
sacred love affair.
find with me what
is good and true and beautiful.
i believe your eyes
are leading the way
to grass stains
and finger paints
and white linen dancing in sunshine,
in the rhythm of the wind.
two could become three,
another trinity
to weave in and through
the good and true and beautiful.

prayers until thursday

remember me,
even in my leaving,
remember that i whispered,
i never want to leave,
and,
if you please,
don't let me.

i have not the long arm, strong and mighty to save.
nor have i the right hand to hold me in.

"you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes."

in searching, i found him
and, wrapped in love around my wrist,
i can not let him go.

it isn't so much that i am basking in his love now,
but his picture,
in my locket,
in my heart,
reminds me of what i get to come home to.

"you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes."

"if i find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that i was made for another world."

savior, king, beloved.

I want to be home.
I don't care where home is right now-
Just, get me there.

Headed home.
Still without peace,
Searching for mountains,
But knowing that
I love a King.

Panic waves & saddness.
Fear, walls closing me in.
I might fail. I might lose the war.
Need YHWH whispers close.

Infidelity is the most painful ripping apart.
Broken hands unglued.
Hands and hearts connect
But distance matters once not twice.
Hands untouching, hearts still feeling.
Distance matters only once.
Infidelity is the greatest distance.
I can't touch your hands, but I still want your heart.

i love a king

Your presence rescues me from wars, genocides, and suicides.
Internal, external.
Your trinity encompasses and includes enveloping chords, love songs.
You bring peace like a river,
Prince of peace,
I love you.

Tenderly I whisper under my breath,
In your ear,
I love you.

You wear red and white,
Stand tall and royal
King of kings
King of the jews,
My king.
I stand adopted, grafted into your royal preisthood
You bestow glory, honor.

I love you in your purity,
I love your blood bleeding for me,
Bleeding love. Bleeding wine.

I love you.

what hurts in love, is not love, but knowing that two loves conflict.
and, in gaining one, i may lose the other,
the greatest love of all.

stuck

trapped in concrete.
whispering
"don't make me go back there"

i need anywhere but here. i need sea breeze and open fields. i need out.

Let's Go.

Please, take me to Tennessee, Georgia. Please, take me to the sweet southern peach,peace, grass sway in light breeze until lightning lights us a cooking-fire. Carry me up the blueridgemountains and bathe me in the shenandoah. Take me deeper to the lighter sunshine blessings in dying august.

The change of pace would be good for us, sister-soul. Orange juice and some horse-trot hay laying.

Please, take me to Tennessee, Georgia, Virginia.

LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
get me out of here - a city with walls, all walls, walled in and walled out.

get me out of here and let me breathe in mountain air and valley waves of rolling grass. wait for thunder. wait under it rattles our bone and we feel it.

G-Ddamnit I want to feel it, toss me under, get me out of here. trapped, trapped.

this city is for suits that are stiff, trying to prove we're more than human. i'm just barely.

get me to earth, rich, real, raw.

this family, we battle

I've got brothers who love me. They think I'm the flower-special glory girl.
I think they're knights, clad in honour and well-fragranced laughter.

GROW UP

GROW UP.
Admit what you are.
Words are just talk-speak.
Give me stature.
No coaxing, waiting, sympathizing, spoon feeding poopoo, poor you unbelieving in yourself for no love when love is offering herself to have and hold. Can't hold what you don't tame, tame yourself, unleash yourself.

GROW UP.

I want to sink to the bottom of the atlantic and open my lungs to new breaths.
I want to live anew,
I want a home in the bottom of the ocean where I can open my eyes to new depths.

I'm not trying to fall in love.
Somedays, these things just happen.
I remain unconvinced that I'll ever see his eyes again.

a woman?

What does it mean to be a woman?
Give me something simple-
I'm beginning to feel confined, trapped,
Unsteady at best.

psalm 143:6

there's a sorrow in me,
in the deepest chords.
i've been soaking in the
tears of weeping friends
heavy on my shoulders.
my skin is damp and chilled,
weary,
dripping heavy off me.
sadness is contagious.
love is contagious.

humanity revealed
itself heavy this year.
our best, and worst this year.
it's all true.
we're all here.

i feel you calling me closer,
in the deeper chords of me.

I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

spring?

fell in love for the pain of it all
by following cherry trees
beginning to blossom.
this is a city without horizons.
come, and we'll make it a home.

i miss things i can't touch.

satisfied

Sunday nights, we
Would eat popcorn, plain,
Apple slices & chedder cheese
All spread out on the
Table over our cloth
Napkins, no paper,
No plates.
Sometimes we laughed,
Always surprised to be Satisfied.

cement

you ask for me
& i, in turn,
comply
until
imaginary lines
cement
into permanent
prisons
that i never
saw
as real
until i was
caught.

april showers

april came at us
with a reign of tears.
victory marching trampling over us,
tilling the ground,
crushing, grinding
our bone.
ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
Spring is here,
rising over us.

It seems to me that falling in love with the impossible is my inevitable plight. April's here, reigning over us. I'm bending, but I won't break. I'm not moving on whims, no matter how strong.