yes

this is the first grey winter
i've had in years.
the beginning of the next quarter
begins in a grey train heading home -
the heart swells with the sweetest joy,
the painful longing to plant
my roots deep into fleshly soil.
let yourself grow, let yourself grow.
we wait until spring with joyful expectation and
i say yes.
let the robin in the snow
& the expectant mother
& the rainbow we watched
spread across the sky after the hurricane,
let them speak their yes.
and please, please
take it.
take this yes,
this foot holding the door ajar against all forces
of bitterness and otherness
take this yes & tell me truth-
let it tear off my clothes,
let it smear away my red lips,
let it bring me to my knees.
let it hurt.
but do not stop -
tell me all of the ways
i am cracked & bruised & not alright.
why does it send so many shivers of life
to hear "you're not alright?"
to be seen uncovered, in the reality of truth
let your honey-golden-joy voice grow in me.
just pour it over me
and then whisper your name,
whisper the name that
wraps itself in promises
& be ever with me, be with me always.
my heart is but a magnet ever aching toward your thrown.