i want.

i want to run into fields and i want the grass to sway on my skin because i just need something soft.

i remember i went to yosemite and we spent the morning in a field and i could have stayed there forever with the sun so warm on my face, and mountains protecting us on all sides.

i want thunderstorms, it is the season, because i feel one brewing in me and i just need something to break.

i remember walking home one night and watching lightning flash against the empire. i need to get it out. my clouds are weighing heavy beneath my eyes and beneath my chest.

remember when we used to pray and wretched tears would fall down our faces and we felt the weight of living? sometimes the relief hurt just as much, for a little while.

i'm like you, darling girl, i miss it too. i miss sweet eternal love.

i don't so much know how we got here or where home went. i feel more like tumbleweed roaming through the desert,

waiting for some rain.

waiting for some tears.

waiting for some love.