freethrow

here's an exercise in freedom, free thought, free throw:
let thoughts spill out, words jumbled and
disconnected.
we are all just parallel lines,
thanks Aldous Huxley
i wish for contact with them all
even if their stare hits me in the face
and hurts for days after.
just let the words come out
even when its late and
even when its not coming out
of any place of significance,
just try to conjure something that isn't so mundane.
i stop dreamning when i don't leave
these four walls,
too small to even yell in
i caught her today,
smoking out my window,
her eyelids were purple and she was shivering
and i just wanted to establish contact
and defy her lines
and break into her story
of sex and infidelity
and paris.
that's not even a coincidence, the bastard is in paris.
left her here and
i don't even know how to
call her somewhere better.
stop eating garbage.
don't know how to promise her love
like its guaranteed.
because i ddon't know that it will come
i just don't know much of anything.